Be a Rebel Woman

Happy Half-Birthday To Me!

Uncategorized Oct 20, 2018

October 20th is my Half-Birthday and yes I celebrate it 🤗 🎉

Last year's Half-Birthday was a sweet one to acknowledge and celebrate. It was the last half of my thirties (which was a decade of massive change in my life emotional/mental/spiritual) and the kickoff to my forties, and there was a tangible flow of energy that was begging to be tapped into and utilized to it's potential and I was looking for some way to harness it.

I didn't grow up in a religious environment but I did grow up respecting religions and being open to understanding their practices, symbolism, and ceremonies and when I have felt drawn to participate I have always walked away enlightened and with a fresh mindset.

A few years into living (or was it surviving 🤔) the Single Life #vodka #dietpils #men I needed a shift in my perspective, habits, and actions. Specifically my perspective, habits, and actions toward men.

I decided to commit to Lent. Forty days of fasting during which time I would abstain from getting naked with men. Easy.

It wasn't easy at all.

But I followed through with my commitment to myself, I practiced setting higher standards (saying no to booty calls/making booty calls 🙋🏼‍♀️) and paying attention to why I made the #fuckedup choices I did. And then I acknowledged my shit and actually dealt with it.

After spending forty days with myself and finding stillness in being alone, I felt like I had truly made a transformation and was ready to take on the next chapter of Life. It was a valuable lesson in being alone and not being lonely.

When last October rolled around and I was looking at how I wanted to close the last of my 30's I came across the biblical connection of forty days symbolizing a period of trial before a new beginning, I figured committing to a '40 Days to 40' transformation of sorts was just what I needed to focus on the next chapters coming my way. 

During those forty days, I allowed myself to be open to whatever opportunities came my way, whatever teachings showed up for me to explore, and focused on detoxing from negative people, thoughts, and choices.

And I kinda' liked what was showing up.

What followed my 40th Birthday was a full year of getting down and dirty with who I was, who I am, and who I wanted to be. And here I am today, 40.5 years old, celebrating my Half-Birthday feeling the strongest I have ever felt (spiritually-speaking... I haven't broken a sweat in months), and truly connected to my authenticity.

I know these days that buzzwords like 'authenticity', 'transformation', and 'acknowledging one's shit' can come off as superficial and a bunch of New Age crap, but I can promise you that if you make the commitment and you do the work that nothing about the personal growth process will feel superficial. (I can't do anything about the 'New Age crap', because, well, that's kind of what it is.)

The older I get (I sound like a friggin' granny) the more I crave a connection to myself. I've been slowly detaching from my expectations of others and refocusing that energy back onto myself, where I actually have control of those expectations being met. 

Celebrating my Half-Birthday gives me the opportunity to reflect on where I was six months ago and where I am going in the very near future. As for the power of 'forty days,' I don't have an answer for why that space of time seems to be what is needed to set change into motion, but it's in the Bible and who can argue with that. 😉

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